oh my god hahahahah this made me laugh more than it should’ve. looka t her face tho
So there’s a depressed person in your life. This can be hard! As a depressed person, I know that I am sometimes a yawning chasm of neediness and tears. It’s entirely possible that you have never had this kind of predicament in your relationships before, or that you’re a veteran but need some support. Either way, here are some tips (courtesy of some messages from my mother, which did 100% the wrong thing).Don’t:
- Assume you know what’s bothering them. You probably don’t. Fun fact: with depression, there’s rarely a “thing” that’s bothering us. It’s usually a huge conglomeration of things.
- Use phrases like “You’re just making yourself miserable!” or “How about looking at the positive?” or “What is being angry REALLY doing for you?” They are not only minimizing the depressed person’s very real predicament, but condescending, patronizing, and alienating besides.
- Speaking of minimizing… Telling a depressed person that they’re being irrational, overreactive, or melodramatic feels a lot like being slapped and will cause a depressed person to close off and feel worse. Depressed people are usually hypersensitive to whether or not their reactions are perceived as “ridiculous” to begin with, but we don’t have a lot of control over them. Mostly, if we start getting tearful or angry over something that seems small to you, we’re just as frustrated by our reaction as you might be.
- Be brusque, or try “tough love.” It won’t work. It will make the situation worse and make us feel like shit about ourselves, besides.
- Assume that you can treat depression like a bout of the sads. It’s not as simple as that. It’s a chemical imbalance that we can’t talk ourselves out of, or sleep off, or brush aside. It hurts. It’s there all the time.
- Be aware that what helps and what doesn’t varies from person to person. The following list are suggestions, but are by no means universal rules.
- Wait for us to talk to you if we come to you. Often, depressed people have a hard time vocalizing what’s wrong. Sometimes literally all we need is someone to cry on.
- Be empathetic. Understand that depression is a hard, exhausting thing to battle, and that gentle reassurance or a comforting text or a small gesture of appreciation can go a long way.
- Reach out with support, and ask what you can do to help. If the answer is “nothing” (and it might be because we don’t always know what can be done to help) ask what you can do to help us move forward past this one hard moment — sometimes that thing is a hug, sometimes that thing is a rewatch of Clueless, and sometimes that thing is a crisis hotline. The important thing is to ask. Simple things that show we are loved and valued by you can be huge.
- Reach out for support. This is a universal thing both for depressed people and for people who are trying to be supportive of people with depression. It can be really, really fucking hard, and a huge strain on a relationship (both ways, when one person feels like they can’t meet another’s needs and the other feels like their needs aren’t being met). But there are always people who are there to lend a shoulder; whether those people are family and friends, a therapist, or a crisis counselor, they’re there.
Here are some numbers.
Love and solidarity. x
Hilariously, this has been running through the back of my mind every time I walk through the casinos here. Partially because it’s the best posture reminder I’ve ever seen, but also because walking like this gets people to move out of your way quickly.
Some cut their wrists and some cut their thighs, some cover it with sleeves and some cover it with smiles. Some prefer razors and others play with knives. But in the end, they’re all living the pain through their lies.
I just love Rudy so much.
Diver braves the waters to swim with deadly 26-foot anaconda
Swiss diver Franco Banfi went to the Mato Grosso region of Brazil to capture these amazing close-up of enormous anaconda snakes in their natural habitat.
Naruto Shippuden episode 84 with Shikamaru Nara: Probably one of my favorite episodes and one of my favorite characters
It is also the most artistic and high quality Shippuden episode to date.
Jennifer Lawrence, ELLE US December 2012
“I hate shopping and then I go in my closet and I hate everything that I’m putting on, but I can’t do anything about it because I hate shopping.”
The swedish book covers of Harry Potter